De Waterreus

After the surfer vibes of Aloha and Hart Beach, and the working class coziness of JM Snacks, De Waterreus is something different indeed. Part of the same cluster of permanent beach clubs at the southern end of the Scheveningen Boulevard, one cannot help but slightly wonder what's the point of the Waterreus. Aloha and Hart Beach have far more soul and atmosphere. De Waterreus, on the other hand, has the look and feel of a hotel lounge: nicely designed, with touches of wood and marine blue pillows, but without much personality.

That is not to say De Waterreus is not enjoyable. This morning, it's in full christmas decoration, with tasteful christmas music (delivered by crooners and jazz musicians) playing at exactly the right volume. The beach club is large and spacious, with full view over the beach and the sea from almost everywhere in the beach club.

Billie Stormzy and I have just done a tiny bit of christmas shopping. When I brought his big sister to school this morning, we realised we'd forgotten it was the day where all kids were supposed to be dressed up in christmas clothing. She was obviously disappointed, although she put on her brave I-don't-care, big girl face and carried on as if she wasn't the only girl in the classroom in her regular clothes. So I decided to bring her whatever I could find in the shops of Scheveningen village. Which, unfortunately, wasn't much. Her school is the main school in the area and apparently, all the christmas sweaters and antlers had already been raided by other parents. I did find, however, a wonderfully flashy disco christmas hat, which I planned to bring to her during the midday break.

Billie Stormzy is fast asleep when we arrive. I have to choose between the more formal main part of the restaurant, which is slightly chilly, and a side chamber where gas fires are burning, which is more lounge-like and cozy, but also a bit too hot. I opt for the latter and as soon as I park the pram, Billie Stormzy wakes up. I pick him up and put him on my lap, which is his favourite position. He enjoys sitting straight up, which he cannot yet do all by himself, and looking all around him. He seems fascinated by the seagulls flying over the beach and together we enjoy the view. Several times, groups of bikini-clad women return from the sea, on their way to Hart Beach to shower. There is some dissonance between them and the christmas songs and fires that surround me here in De Waterreus, as well as the cold and the rain outside.

The waiter takes his time, but when he arrives I order the De Waterreus breakfast (€11) and a tea (€2,95). When it arrives, the breakfast is mostly huge: a large platter with bacon, a fried egg, different slices of cheese and ham, and some sallad. There is also, oddly, a small orange sliced in half. I wonder what I should do with it? Squeeze it in my tea? Peel it and eat it (which would be difficult with half an orange)? I decide to ignore it. Next to the platter, there's basket filled with an enormous amount of bread (a slice of brown and a slice of white bread, croissant, different kinds of bread rolls). There's also a bowl with little plastic cups with butter, peanut butter, jam, nutella and sprinkles. I'm quite hungry, so I dig right in.

It's difficult to negotiate Billie Stormzy on my lap and eating my breakfast, but I manage. The breakfast, I decide, is mostly much. The egg and bacon is a nice touch, but the salad has too much dressing on it and the rest is nothing special. Again, the question is: what's the point? With the fresh and funky breakfasts of Hart Beach and Aloha nearby, for almost the same prices, this breakfast is rather mundane.

I do know what the point is for me, right at this moment, though: somehow, De Waterreus's pleasant-but-not-too-special design is a perfect fit for the christmas decoration and the seasonal songs. It simply seems to be made for christmas (which, at its best, is also pleasant but not too special, predictable in an entirely comfortable way, like a warm blanket or a hot chocolate).

Meanwhile, Billie Stormzy is getting a bit impatient. He's sat on my lap for more than half an hour, and is getting tired and irritated. He starts to whine, but when I move my leg rythmically, he stops again. He's a sweet baby, never very difficult and easily soothed. But it gets harder to keep him quiet, so I finish my breakfast by eating a small slice of date cake (which tasts very nice - probably the best bit of the breakfast, as well as the most unexpected addition to it) and drinking the last of my tea.

I get up and pay, then put Billy Stormzy in his warm and comfy bear suit - but he's crying now and won't stop until I start walking his pram. I want to give him a bottle of milk at home before we continue to his sister's school to bring her the christmas hat. At home, about 15 minutes walking from De Waterreus, I discover the reason for his discomfort: his nappy badly needs changing.

Also on Breakfast at the Beach: Jump back in time to when Rihanna Gaga and I visited this place in 2016.